What you’ve kept

I kept the Ithaca College snapback you let me borrow. I asked if you wanted it back but you said no, I can have it. So I still have it. I’ve kept the poster of Jim Morrison. I’ve kept the shower ring we stole that I wore as a bracelet. I’ve kept the boxes and little notes and the interchangeable gems that go on the ring you gave me for Hanukkah but the ring itself is gone. I didn’t throw it out. I honestly don’t know what happened to it. I’ve kept the song. And all those pop punk hardcore bands are still on my ipod but I never listen to them.

I’ve kept the teddy bear but I gave it to my dog. I’ve kept the baseball you signed for my birthday last year and the pin I wore to the Mets game. And the hat. I’ve kept the journal from my junior year of high school. It has a whole lot of you in it.

I’ve kept the sand dollar you brought back from Florida, though it’s broken in half. I’ve kept the purple candle and the snow globe. I’ve kept the poem you wrote me. I’ve kept the picture frame, collage, and blue sailor’s knot bracelet. I keep them in the back of my closet. I’ve kept the photo album you gave me with those pictures your brother took when we were 13. There’s a note in the back that says we’ll be friends forever. We haven’t talked in years.

I’ve kept your big black ring and the Slightly Stoopid shirt you left here. I’d give them back but you told me never to speak to you again.

I’ve kept The Call Out CD case but not the CD itself.

I’ve kept my lacrosse stick, goggles, and even the chewed up mouth guard but I haven’t played lacrosse in five years.

I’ve kept every school picture and yearbook starting from first grade.

I’ve kept my retainer.

I’ve kept my algebra notebook and my geometry notebook but threw out my English notebooks.

I’ve kept a math test I took when I was in second grade. I got a 100%.

I’ve kept all the earrings that have a missing pair. I keep them in the ceramic heart-shaped bowl I made when I was four.

I’ve kept my Bat Mitzvah dress and the Mardis Gras beads from all the Bar/Bat Mitzvahs I’ve gone to and the picture frames, but I’m not sure what happened to the pictures. I’ve kept the digital camera and printer my aunts got for me as a gift for my Bat Mitzvah, but I don’t use them anymore. I have an iphone and Facebook now. I’ve kept the CD of my Torah portion the Cantor recorded for me. I think she made a cassette too, but I didn’t keep that.

I’ve kept Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and Good Morning Muffin Mouse. And in my head I’ve kept every word to Devil Went Down to Georgia, Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Grease, and The Parent Trap.

I’ve kept the Russian doll and the monogrammed door knob hanger.

I’ve kept the ticket stubs from every concert or play I’ve been to.

I’ve kept all the letters people have written to me and the cards from the people I care about.

I’ve kept all the poems I’ve ever written.

And the funny thing about all of this is that I just cleaned out my entire room a few weeks ago and these are the things I decided to keep. Now only if I could clean out my head. I’ve kept quite a bit in there.